Wednesday, November 1, 2006

What's in a real estate name?

...already mid-week in mid-autumn...
I've been meaning to write this since Sunday;
every weekend I enjoy testing my absurd-o-meter
by perusing the real estate section in the newspaper.

The names of new condo-complexes and subdivisions are so often scratch-your-head-worthy. The classic example is perhaps the use of 'estate' in any name--apartments and tract-housing are hardly 'estates,' eh?

Some names are merely slightly annoying.
"Brix" for example...I guess "Bricks" was too mundane, and "Brickes" would be too much in the vein of 'ye-olde' corniness...At least the building in question actually has an 'old-world' facade of red baked blocks of clay...

Urban overpriced buildings need to use creative spelling to stand out from its neighbors...
...such as "Bolero"...I guess that building can just dance away from its more mundane peers...

"Verge" caught my eye. On the verge of what? trendiness? the burst of the real-estate bubble? Or maybe you will have one of those "almost!-views" touted in ads--lean out far beyond the railing of your postage-stamp balconette and you'll get a hint of the sun setting behind the other building behind the cranes...on the verge of a view...

I saw a townhome complex a while back--"Lendemain." Ahh...the use of French to 'upgrade' a locale..."Lendemain" simply means "the next day." I wonder if in the suburbs of Paris there is a "Tomorrow" being built...
And while we're speaking French, why not mention "Châteaus." That's right--'chateau' with an 's' on the end. Ack! If you're gonna try something in French, at least know that you have to have an 'x' on the end! "Châteaux," since 'castles' so often come in cookie-cutter complexes...no?

Or maybe you want to look into a complex with a Spanish name. "Mira." I wonder if somewhere in the outskirts of Madrid a neighborhood named "Lookie-here" is advertising itself in the glossy section of the weekend paper?

But the icing on the cake for me this weekend was:
"Cambria Hills."
Not a bad name in itself...picturesque...conjuring up a rolling British pastoral scene...
"Cambria"--the ancient Roman name for what is now Wales.
But..."Cambria Hills" touts its three "French"(?!)-themed-areas: Provence, Rhone, and Loire.
Who came up with these 'themes?' Is there any concept of geography?
Why the Welsh-named sub-division with French-named sub-sub-divisions?!
Nothing in the architecture of these homes even remotely alludes to anything Celtic or Gallic...
(The color schemes available in these homes are "lumière, vintage or crème." Ahem.)
I wonder if there are even hills there...

Ahh...ostentation + misinformation = an equation for modern real-estate monikers...
Surely many people must live in these new areas in spite of the names, rather than because of...

I must admit that I am not immune either; my wife and I live in "Sunset View."
(speaking of 'sunset'--now that daylight savings time is no longer around, nightfall at this latitude now takes place before 5 p.m! Ugh...By December 21, sunset up here will be at 4:15--disgustingly early for 'nighttime' to begin...)
There is no view of the sunset; the apartments all face south...
But at least there is a view...on a recent foggy morning, for example:
...except that right now the blog website is not allowing me to post photos...another time, then...




3 comments:

  1. I grew up in the edge city of Lakewood, Washington, and with its proximity to both McChord Air Force Base and Fort Lewis, there are an inordinate amount of apartment "village" and other cheap housing. I used to think that developers all had the same book, where you could pick out 2 or 3 words, string them together and have yourself a community name. Its probably the same kind of method a lot of grunge bands used in the '90s to get their names: Smashing Pumpkins, Alice In Chains, Temple of the Dog, Pearl Jam, Candlebox, Soundgarden, etc. Of course the apartment versions are more along the lines of Spanish Vista, Coffee Creek (that's a real one...ick), Sunrise Ridge, Fir Ridge, Lake View Manor, etc.

    As for "themed" urban condos, one of my favorite designers, Tibor Kalman of the famous '80s design company M&Co, helped to design one of the nation's first theme-marketed condos in the Lower East Side, called "Red Square".

    Here's a photo.

    In his monograph, Kalman said he regretted the project. Not only did it usher in a whole new wave of gentrification to the Lower East Side, but its scale was such that it blocked traditional views to a large percentage of the surrounding buildings and offended the Jewish population with it's communist theme (complete with Lenin statue on top).

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  2. Hey Daniel...
    ...let's see, what would be a 'Red Square' equivalent for, say, Seattle's Capitol Hill neighborhood?...how about a high-rise with a statue of a Folgers-drinking conservative Republican on top? "Red State estates?"

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  3. joe, you are funny. you make me laugh. looky here.
    michelle.

    ReplyDelete